“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖

“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖

 

演講|John Roberts

編譯|少年商學院新媒體部

 

前幾天,美國最高法院大法官John Roberts受邀到兒子就讀的卡迪根山中學(cardigan mountain school)的畢業(yè)典禮做演講。

演講不長,看完卻讓人大跌眼鏡——不同于其他畢業(yè)演講給孩子“打雞血”,充滿正能量,Roberts竟祝愿所有畢業(yè)生承受不公、遭遇背叛、品嘗孤單……但看完之后,我們卻更能體諒一個父親的良苦用心。

(點擊上方視頻觀看演講)

Roberts的演講可謂重申了法國批判現(xiàn)實主義作家Romain Rolland的名言:世上只有一種英雄主義,就是在認清生活的真相之后,依然熱愛生活。學院君將其演講翻譯如下,與您分享:

“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖Forever?YoungBob?Dylan?–?Planet?Waves“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖

現(xiàn)如今,全國無論是在大學、高中,還是初中的畢業(yè)典禮上,演講者都會站在不耐煩的畢業(yè)生前,說著同一件事情:“今天只是開始,不是結束,你必須向前看?!?這當然是對的,不過我覺得,如果你想向前看,找出來自己想往哪里去,最好還是先弄清楚你從哪里來,曾經(jīng)歷過什么。

 

如果你能想起你剛來Cardigan的那個下午,你可能會記得那時的你是多么孤獨,你可能有點害怕、有點焦慮。但現(xiàn)在,看看你自己,你的身邊有稱兄道弟的朋友,你是如此自信地迎接著你的下一個受教育的階段。

 

不妨思考一下這種變化的原因,這是非常有價值的,如果你真的這么去做了,你會感激于——正是同學們在教室里、在運動場上、在宿舍里對你的幫助,成就了你。你收獲了自信,不是因為你在方方面面都獲得了成功,而是得益于朋友們的幫助,你不再害怕失敗。

 

失敗了第一次,你爬起來再接再厲,失敗了第二次,你爬起來再接再厲,失敗了第三次……或許你得考慮一下做點別的事情。但這原本就不僅僅關乎成功,而關乎你不害怕失敗——這才是支撐你到今天的關鍵。

 

畢業(yè)典禮上的演講嘉賓通常也會祝你們好運,給了你們很多美好的祝愿,但我不會這樣。下面我就來告訴你為什么。

 

在未來的歲月里,我希望你偶爾承受不公,好讓你明白公正的價值之高。

 

我希望你不時遭遇背叛,好讓你懂得忠誠的份量之重。

 

雖然這么說很抱歉,但我希望你時不時地品嘗孤單,好讓你明白朋友并非理所應當。

 

再次強調,我希望你的運氣偶爾差一點,好讓你看清“機會”二字在漫漫人生中的角色,領悟到你的成功也好,別人的失敗也好,都不是“就該這樣”。

 

當你失去了什么——這件事未來一定會發(fā)生的——無論何時,我都希望你的對手對此幸災樂禍,好讓你明白體育精神是多么難能可貴。

 

我希望你被忽視,好讓你學會傾聽,我希望你經(jīng)歷過足夠的痛苦,好讓你學會同情。

 

無論我有沒有祝福你經(jīng)歷這些,這些早晚都會發(fā)生,至于你能不能從這些事里受益,就要看你有沒有能力看到隱藏在不幸背后的信號。

“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖

缺乏自省的人生不值一活

 

現(xiàn)如今,畢業(yè)典禮上的演講者們還得給一些建議,有些建議很宏大,有些建議很實用,而他們給得最多的建議,就是讓你做你自己。

 

話說回來,讓每個人都穿得一模一樣也很奇怪啊,但你必須——必須做你自己,但你也得明白,這究竟意味著什么——除非你是完美的——這可不是教你不去做出任何改變。

 

某種意義上,你不能只是做你自己,你得去嘗試一些更好的東西。當人們說“你得做你自己”時,他們是希望你抑制住你的沖動,不一味迎合他人對你的期待,但如果你不了解你自己,你是無法成為你自己的,而你永遠無法了解你自己,除非你認真思考這個問題。

 

古希臘哲學家蘇格拉底曾說,“缺乏自省的人生不值一活?!薄胺攀忠徊笨赡苁俏覀兺瓿赡承┦聲r絕佳的座右銘,它卻不能很好地指導你走好你前面的人生路。擁有美滿人生的一個重要線索,是不要試圖活在美好的生活里。而迷失對你最重要的價值觀的最好方法,則是壓根就不要去思考。這就是我給你們的建議。

“我希望你運氣壞一點”:美國首席大法官在兒子畢業(yè)典禮上的話好狠卻更暖

每周寫一封信,記住人們的名字

 

你們很快就要去新學校了,這里有一些小建議。在過去這些年,我認識了你們中的不少人,我知道,你們都是好樣的,你們都是貴族子弟,如果你們在來這所學校之前還不是,那么現(xiàn)在也是了。我的建議是:不要做那些標榜特權的事。

 

當你去到新學校,看到修剪枝葉、清掃積雪、倒垃圾的人,你要走上去自我介紹,記住他們的名字,在學校里遇到他們時,記得叫他們的名字。

 

另一個小建議是,當你在人行道上,碰到了你記不得的人時,微笑,看著他們的眼睛然后問好。最差的事情也不過你成了眾所周知的“微笑問好男”,但這也沒有不好的。

 

過去你們在學校里只能看到男生,現(xiàn)在,你們中的大多數(shù)人會有女同學,對于這一點,我是沒有建議了。

 

最后一個小建議,非常簡單,但我覺得會對你們的人生帶來至關重要的影響。

 

每個星期,你都抽空寫一張紙條給一個人,不是發(fā)郵件,是寫在紙上的一封信,這大約會花你10分鐘。找個大人問問,他就會告訴你什么是郵票,然后你就可以把郵票貼到信封上。

 

再次強調,10分鐘,每個星期。我現(xiàn)在就來幫助你,決定你第一封信寫點什么。上面會寫著:“親愛的老師,我已經(jīng)開始了新學校的生活。我們用英語閱讀。足球訓練好難,但我樂在其中。謝謝你曾用心教導我。”然后把紙條放進一個信封,貼上郵票,寄出去。這對愿意教中學男生的老師們來說意義深遠。

 

就像我說的,這件事每周只會花你10分鐘時間。但等到你的學校生活結束,你就給40個人寄出了紙條。40個人因此而感到了一點不同,他們也會因此而覺得你不同,這一點任何人都奪不走。

 

建議足夠多了。最后,我想借我讀過的一段重要的歌詞作為結束。前面,我談到了古希臘哲學家蘇格拉底,下面,我要引用的歌詞來自偉大的美國哲學家Bob?Dylan,他在某次旅程因思念兒子而作。

歌詞列出了一個父母對自己的兒女的祝愿,也是兒女成長的目標。這些祝愿,美好、永恒、普遍又真摯,除了其中一點,即歌名和副歌——那是一聲哀嘆,而非一句祝愿。下面附上Bob?Dylan的Forever Young歌詞:

 

May God bless you and keep you always

愿上帝保佑你

 

May your wishes all come true

愿你所有美夢終成真

 

May you always do for others

愿你無私幫助他人

 

And let others do for you

也接受他人饋贈

 

May you build a ladder to the stars

愿你能筑梯摘星

 

And climb on every rung

一步一腳印

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永遠年輕

 

May you grow up to be righteous

愿你成長為正直的人

 

May you grow up to be true

愿你永葆真誠

 

May you always know the truth

愿你世事洞明

 

And see the lights surrounding you

愿你的眼睛里總有光

 

May you always be courageous

愿你總能勇往直前

 

Stand upright and be strong

昂首挺胸

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永遠年輕

 

May your hands always be busy

愿你的雙手永遠充實

 

May your feet always be swift

愿你的步伐永遠輕快

 

May you have a strong foundation

愿你踏踏實實

 

When the winds of changes shift

世事總無常

 

May your heart always be joyful

你的內心卻始終洋溢著歡樂

 

May your song always be sung

愿你的歌謠永遠唱響

 

And may you stay forever young

愿你永遠年輕

 

以下為該段演講的原文:

 

Now around the country today at colleges, high schools, middle schools, commencement speakers are standing before impatient graduates. And they are almost always saying the same things. They will say that today is a commencement exercise. ‘It is a beginning, not an end. You should look forward.’?

And I think that is true enough, however, I think if you’re going to look forward to figure out where you’re going, it’s good to know where you’ve been and to look back as well.?

 

And I think if you look back to your first afternoon here at Cardigan, perhaps you will recall that you were lonely. Perhaps you will recall that you were a little scared, a little anxious. And now look at you. You are surrounded by friends that you call brothers, and you are confident in facing the next step in your education.

 

It is worth trying to think why that is so. And when you do, I think you may appreciate that it was because of the support of your classmates in the classroom, on the athletic field and in the dorms. And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail.?

 

And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point.

 

Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why.?

 

From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted.?

 

I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either.?

 

And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship.?I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion.?

 

Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.

 

Now commencement speakers are also expected to give some advice. They give grand advice, and they give some useful tips.The most common grand advice they give is for you to be yourself.?

 

It is an odd piece of advice to give people dressed identically, but you should — you should be yourself. But you should understand what that means. Unless you are perfect, it does not mean don’t make any changes.?

 

In a certain sense, you should not be yourself. You should try to become something better. People say ‘be yourself’because they want you to resist the impulse to conform to what others want you to be. But you can’t be yourself if you don’t learn who you are, and you can’t learn who you are unless you think about it.

 

The Greek philosopher Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ And while ‘just do it’ might be a good motto for some things, it’s not a good motto when it’s trying to figure out how to live your life that is before you. And one important clue to living a good life is not to try to live?the?good life. The best way to lose the values that are central to who you are is frankly not to think about them at all.?

So that’s the deep advice.Now some tips as you get ready to go to your new school. Other the last couple of years, I have gotten to know many of you young men pretty well, and I know you are good guys. But you are also privileged young men. And if you weren’t privileged when you came here, you are privileged now because you have been here. My advice is: Don’t act like it.

 

When you get to your new school, walk up and introduce yourself to the person who is raking the leaves, shoveling the snow or emptying the trash. Learn their name and call them by their name during your time at the school.?

 

Another piece of advice: When you pass by people you don’t recognize on the walks, smile, look them in the eye and say hello. The worst thing that will happen is that you will become known as the young man who smiles and says hello, and that is not a bad thing to start with.

 

You’ve been at a school with just boys.Most of you will be going to a school with girls. I have no advice for you.

 

The last bit of advice I’ll give you is very simple, but I think it could make a big difference in your life.?Once a week, you should write a note to someone. Not an email. A note on a piece of paper. It will take you exactly 10 minutes. Talk to an adult, let them tell you what a stamp is. You can put the stamp on the envelope.

 

Again, 10 minutes, once a week. I will help you, right now. I will dictate to you the first note you should write. It will say, ‘Dear [fill in the name of a teacher at Cardigan Mountain School].’ Say:‘I have started at this new school. We are reading [blank] in English. Football or soccer practice is hard, but I’m enjoying it. Thank you for teaching me.’Put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it and send it. It will mean a great deal to people who — for reasons most of us cannot contemplate — have dedicated themselves to teaching middle school boys.?

 

As I said, that will take you exactly 10 minutes a week. By the end of the school year, you will have sent notes to 40 people.Forty people will feel a little more special because you did, and they will think you are very special because of what you did. No one else is going to carry that dividend during your time at school.

 

Enough advice. I would like to end by reading some important lyrics. I cited the Greek philosopher Socrates earlier.These lyrics are from the great American philosopher, Bob Dylan. They’re almost 50 years old.?

He wrote them for his son, Jesse, who he was missing while he was on tour. It lists the hopes that a parent might have for a son and for a daughter. They’re also good goals for a son and a daughter.?

The wishes are beautiful, they’re timeless. They’re universal. They’re good and true, except for one: It is the wish that gives the song its title and its refrain. That wish is a parent’s lament. It’s not a good wish. So these are the lyrics from Forever Young by Bob Dylan:

 

May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
And may you stay forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
And may you stay forever young

Thank you.

 

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